| ok... as promised...... |
[16 Nov 2007|01:18am] |
well.... ok then........the news.....
Yesterday I said I had news......so, here it is....
This upcoming January, after the clusterfuck that is the holiday season is finally over, I will finally make my ring debut for Xtreme Zone Wrestling in the Southern California area. When the time draws near I'll post again with all the details, and the show poster
and I want everyone who can make it to be there
(but if you can't, I'll see about getting the show onto YouTube or posted to MySpace....or something like that.....)
For myself, something like this is FAR from profitable... but it is also something that I've wanted to do for a very long time...ever since I sat in front of the TV watching the very first WrestleMania. I could name so many wrestlers whom I would call an influence, an inspiration.
The first on that list would be the late Chris Benoit. A great person and an outstanding wrestler, despite what people wish to believe about his death, I still believe that there was more surrounding the tragedy than what was released to the public.
Andre the Giant is next on the list. His wrestling style is the biggest influence on my training.
Rico made this list as being the first superstar I had met who encouraged me to pursue professional wrestling (and I may eventually get the chance to tell him thanks)
This list is a long one, so I'm leaving it there for now... who knows, maybe one day I'll compile this list for you....
buuuut.... that is all for now.....
take care everyone, and I'll try not to go so long without posting
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[15 Nov 2007|12:02am] |
First off...sorry I'm late....
second.....I have to make this quick...and I'll post longer tomorrow.......
yes, I'm still in one piece.....trying to find decent work still....and its driving me insane.....
now for more upbeat news
one of my longtime dreams is EXTREMELY close to becoming fulfilled....and as of now, unless something pops up to push the date forward, I have till January to prepare for it
and if you're in the so cal area (or can come by for a visit), once everything is set in stone, I want you all to be there
go ahead and speculate.....I'll let you all know tomorrow
and TRY to keep it clean!!!!!! (you know who you are)
(right.....like you'd even try....nevermind)
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[15 Jun 2007|04:07am] |
hi people... I know its been forever since I posted last... just been busy and all.....still tryin to find work mainly....
and before any of you brainless cocksmoking prison bitches say a single word (if you took offense to what was just typed, then this was most likely directed at you....get the fuck over it, you fucking pussy....if you don't like what I have to say then DON'T FUCKNIG READ THIS!!!!DELETE ME FROM YOUR FRIENDS LIST, LOSE MY EMAIL ADDY, WHATEVER HELPS YOU FEEL LESS GUILTY ABOUT TAKING YOUR DADDY UP YOUR ASS.... I DO NOT FUCKING CARE!!!) I have been trying.....
but on the less gloomy side, what I have been doing over the past several weeks, is actually something I have wanted to do for a while....
wrestling
yes, as in professional
...yes, I'm serious....
...no, I don't care if you think I'm "not in shape enough" to do it....
...and, I really don't care what you think....
as for everyone else.......wellll......I'm working on a couple gimmicks, but am leaing toward a Native American thing...in the meantime, I'm now the unofficial XZW tackling dummy, and part of show security.....and with luchidores being part of the next show or two, there will be drunk Mexicans there....
and yes, I know the two things most Mexicans love...
alcohol and lucha libre...not a fun time to be security at a wrestling show....
oh.....for everyone in the So Cal area:
yall take care people...
much love to everyone I know, like, and wish I was seeing soon (especially all the Gen Con people.... I will make it back to Indy....promise!)
one more thing: I ended up spraining my thumb this past weekend....I took a bad roll, and the attempted recovery from it...well, let's just leave it at "sprained thumb"
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[26 Mar 2007|08:33am] |
yea... i know, its been a while since i updated... sorry bout that....
well.... i'm still trying to find work.... this really sucks... but i at least have a couple people willing to help me work connections.....
I really don't know what I've been doing wrong.....but whatever it is, I hope I find it soon...
ok... not gettin started on that... sorry....
in other news... a friend is lookin on gettin me a job workin security at an upcoming wrestling show.....we'll see what happens with that...
ok.... since internet is well.... startin to become more scarce, I have to cut things short..
talk to ya later... much love...
ps.... sometime soon I'm doin some cleaning up on my friends list.....just takin names off that either are no longer active, or for other reasons... if for some reason I end up removing you, don't take it personally.....i probably forgot who you were.... oops....just drop me an email and i'll re-add you....
NOW... i'm off
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[08 Mar 2007|01:37am] |
so...um...I was s'posed to have a job interview today....it was gonna be a "working interview" at a local zoo..you know... feeding, cleaning, etc....get a feel for the job, ya know?well...starting last nyte, things were looking bad....my sis, who offered to help me get there today, called me lettin me know she fucked her back up again...great.but, if she couldn't give me a ride, I could try to reschedule, or just write the job off....she decided to let me borrow her truck....
move on to this morning... I start off gettin out of bed with about 15 minutes to get dressed and out the door...I have to be there by 6:30.....about 2 miles out, a tire blows.....not a big thing, seein as she had a spare....
however...there is an issue with her not havin a jack, OR a tire iron....time: 6:25
after making some calls I get a hold of my younger sis.....not realizing that she didn't work last nyte (she works graveyard at a local Wal-Mart) she tells me he old man can bring me a jack, and a way to get the lugs off, but it won't be till almost 8
and of course, I have to tell the older sis....
so, my brother in law shows up with a jack and a ratchet.....he drops them off and leaves for work......
and right as I set the jack up......I SMELL MOISTURE IN THE AIR!!!!
the only bright spot at this point is that the rain didn't last more than a very light sprinkle....
so NOW, with the spare on (as it turned out, it was taller than the others, so till it could be replaced, the truck pulls to the left) and after calling the zoo and rescheduling my job interview (thankfully) I head home...
....right up until, less than a block away, the tranny slips out of gear, and refuses to reengage ANY of the forward gears......reverse still works though........
the only bright spot is that I managed to get a new interview time.... on Saturday...oh hell....
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| check this out people! |
[01 Mar 2007|06:17am] |
hey... so.. I decided to check out this site called Helium.com....its a writers' site...I signed up, and decided to start with writing an article about Gen Con
check it out here and tell me what you think
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| so... it's been a while... sorry..... |
[24 Jan 2007|02:17am] |
well......i'm not sure what there is of interest to drop.......job thing is still not working out......and after hitting up every place that's hiring.......at least my sister is still willing to help with gettin me round to go look for work.....
next...I've decided that I've put it off long enough......Friday I have an appointment at the local behavioral health clinic....(translation: county shrink)...I think that its time to try to deal with this thing in my head before I slip further......
and one more thing.... an old friend of mine from college and I talked on Yahoo last nyte.....he invited me to sign up and train with a local wrestling promotion...
they're called Xtreme Zone Wrestling....they have a MySpace profile....xzwrestling....
and yea...I'm gonna go for it, as soon as I have the money for training...
I'm gonna end up gettin my ass hurt, i know it, but what the fuck, ya know? I'm a too close to midlife crisis as it is, and so far I've only obtained one major goal... which was to attend a gaming convention...this will be the next....
anyway, things to do and no time to do them.... I'll talk to you all later..
peace and love...
R.
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| its been a while since I have had motivation for a really good rant.... |
[11 Dec 2006|08:40am] |
....but tonyte, wellll....
I know I have not been feelin too "up" this past week, especially with my ride not following through in helping me with the Radio Shack deal (and for those of you who have known me for a while, I am feeling better....I think i'm out of the depression stage for now)
well, in my last post, I asked for no replies, since I wasn't feeling up to fielding comments from people... and i thought I blocked comments.....apparantly, I wasn't payin too much attention....
this is where I say thanks to the people who at least respected my request for no replies.... very out of character for me, I know....
now as for the one who didn't.....
I probably wouldn't be as annoyed with the reply if the chickenshit, dog-blowing little bitch had have left a name, since I am sure that it is someone I have known for a while (I have my suspicions, but ya know, I'm saying nothing for now till I know for certain) but apparantly was too scared to tell me who they were before dropping an anonymous response in my last post....
now, I could reply to the halfassed attempt at inciting a flame war on my own LJ point by point, but... no, I won't do it....not because they're right (they ARE full of shit incidentally, and if they have not spent so much time with the family dog's cock wedged so firmly down their throat it started to deprive their brain of air, they would not have tried to go where they did) but because this is about all the credibility I'll be giving them:
since I'm guessing that this IS someone I know, and possibly someone on the friends list for this journal, go ahead and remove me from yours, as well as any messenger accounts you have, email addy book....all traces of me, because as soon as I know who you are, fuck you, brainless little cunt, don't contact me again. I'm done with you.
as for everyone else, sorry you had to see this....but thanks for at least being there for me when I needed it....
now really quick, just so I can wrap this up on a positve note...
I've started a new writing project...I'm gonna try to have it finished before the next deadline for submissions to the L Ron Hubbard Foundation's Writers of the Future contest....
the premise is this:
A man is distracted from a suicide attempt by saving someone else, and in turn, ends up almost dying in the rescue attempt. While in a coma following the rescue, finds himself in Hell, where he learns the single biggest secret ever...
In the last war in Heaven, Lucifer had, in fact, managed to usurp control. While the Morning Star rules, the true God is captive in Hell somewhere.
now I have some ideas about where to proceed fro mthere, like, maybe having him leap from one reality to the next at odd times....maybe even have him at a crossroads about whether or not to free God, since it is well known that the God of old is wrathful, and who knows what he might do to those who worshipped Lucifer, thinking that he was God....
ok, I have email to sort through, want ads to sift through, etc.....all the things the little twat who thinks they know me is trying to say I'm not doing....
and I'll go ahad and unblock the response, so you all can see what was said....
goodnyte everyone
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[07 Dec 2006|09:16am] |
yea...well, before someone gets the brilliant idea of trying to send me "encouragement" for what I posted yesterday.... let me just tell you all that I didn't go
my ride, who had business in that general area anyway, decided to fuck off the appointment, and in turn, fuck me over...
and the best people can tell me is "well, uh.....things happen for a reason..."
what fucking reason, huh? that having a job with a company as large as Radio Shack was more than I deserve??? Maybe that working in a place where I'd actually look forward to going to every day is not a job that I'm worthy to have??? That perhaps I'm only good for doing minimum wage bullshit... things that would guarantee that I would NEVER be able to afford to live on my own...that I would have to depend on people who treat me like shit and then try to make me believe that i deserve that treatment?
I'm at a total fucking loss....
and no, I really don't want to hear back and for right now, don't try emailing me either....
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[06 Dec 2006|09:39am] |
well.... sorry I haven't posted in a while.....things have just been...well, blah
not atayin OL too long tonyte so I'll make this short...
I have an interview tomorrow...at the Radio Shack regional office.....
..which is a little over an hour away...
well, thankfully, people here have things that needa be taken care of in that general direction, so i can catch a ride there....however, if they finish up fast like, I may have to borrow money and catch the greyhound back home....which if I do, i'll walk up to the game shop....
ok, backtrack....
I found a game shop in the area that runs regular D&D stuff....and the people are really great....so far they have had no problem in givin me a ride home if I get stuck out there....
but in any case, I've already told them that if i get a job soon, I will be takin one of their dragons...
again, backtrack.....
Wizards of the Coast has started releasin a series of limited edition dragons, scaled to use in D&D and Miniatures.....so far they have released a Black dragon, about 4in. x 4in., standin about 6in. and a Red, which is about TWICE that
the dragon i was specifically talkin about was a Red... but I will buy a Black as well
and in January, they're releasing a Blue which is the same size as the Black.....
but I have to get going....love yas
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[20 Nov 2006|08:08am] |
Well....first sorry for not posting more frequently... been busy and stuff....
second... I broke down and got a MySpace page some time back.....been using it for my gaming posts....all geek shit about D&D, so you aren't missing much...
third.... went and requested....and got added...to the friends list of several hosts for a couple of my favorite shows on G4- Attack of the Show and X Play....
and it was on the blog of one of the AOTS hosts, Layla Kayleigh, that I found this:
Closing Cycles
by Paulo Coelho
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end.
If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters .. whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents.. house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?
You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won..t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.
But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back.
Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts .. and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person .. nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.
Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
She also posted a few others.....but you get the idea....
reading her posts also reminded me of something that I don't think I've done in a while...
everyone who was there for me when I needed a reminder of how many people really cared...who showed me true friendship when I stopped caring about...well, everything....
thank you
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[19 Oct 2006|07:47am] |
well... there was mention about the interview last monday in a couple posts earlier.... this is how it all went:
the interview monday went good... enough that i was asked to return tuesday to do a "ride along" with a sales team... and as an evaluation
tuesday went better...at the end of the day, i was offered a job.....$350 a week for the next 2 weeks (training) and at the end, based on my performance, an increase.....and to top it off, the boss was going to break down my first week's pay so I would have pocket money every day I worked....for gas, lunch, food for the house, a new tire that one of the cars needs, paying off a bill that's already overdue...
this morning, i was told that I wasn't going to be given a ride to work, or any other form of help getting there....and so I had to call and tell them that I wasn't going to be able to take the job.....and make myself look like a fucking jackass....
in the meantime, some fucking punk that was stupid enough to get his sorry ass arrested, and was just released today, has been getting every bit of help he could POSSIBLY want from these people who are supposed to be my family....
now tell me again how my luck should be cahnging soon?
no, really, I'm serious.....
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[15 Oct 2006|01:00am] |
i give up
it doesn't matter what I do, someone always wants to find a way to..........fuck it, i don't care
I just......maybe i would have been better off if i had killed myself.....god knows everyone else would benefit if i wasn't here....
i'
m tired of fighting...im tired of trying to prove something to someone who never has a fucking thing to say that doesn't remind me that i'm nothing........
i knew this was going to happen....i manage to get a job interview on monday and that is just not good enough....what do they want? would they prefer if i find something that would guarantee i would never be able to live on my own? maybe as a reminder that i am worthless? would that make them happy?
someone tell me because i can't do this anymore.....
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[14 Oct 2006|12:56am] |
you now... it seems that i can't have any good news without some people finding a way to fuck things up for me....
i finally managed to get an interview for a job....
yet i have to listen to someone over here tell me that I had better find work soon....
no talking about hoping the interview goes well, or appreciation that I have at least been able to get food in the house, or even thans for doing almost all the cooking, for helping with the cleaning, or helping with the yard....a reminder that it has taken me several months to even get this far....and of course, they would rather i just get some minimum wage bullshit job tomorrow than let me go to this interview for a job that might pay enough for me to be able to get me away from them, and wait and see....
and of course, college....why bother with school if i'm working at something that will allow me to take care of myself?
...and make me miserable enough that I just might decide to go ahead and try to kill myself again....
i'm ready to just give up again, and they don't even realize how far they've pushed me....
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| the pains and extreme annoyances of dialup... |
[09 Sep 2006|06:30am] |
.......but I deal as best I can....its way too late for me to still be up....i've been havin to deal with updating software for this machine i'm having to use till I can get my laptop fixed (which I might rant about sometime later....) so I can't really fill people in on what's been happening since the last time i dropped a line....
and of course, because of certain financial difficulties, i'm missing Gen Con this year...and the college I used to go to is being phenominally difficult about re-enrollment...they want me to get them copies of paperwork that they should still have on file for me before processing the enrollment app....which of course, I don't have the money to get....so, if it doesn't happen in the spring, then i'll at least be able to do summer....that would make a year back in CA.....
i've been really questioning my decision to leave Indiana.....no, not because of family (which is as stressful as ever, but i still love them) but more becaue of other things that have happened...or haven't happened...again, that's for a later post.....
anyway, as soon as these updates are done (and at least some of the mountain of email that I haven't been able to clear outta my mailbox is taken care of) I need to try to snatch some sleep...
i'll be in touch people.... love you all
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[26 May 2006|05:38pm] |
no time this time....
just lettin peoples know i'm ok right now.....only recently been able to get a library card (only way to get onto the net for now)
i'll try to get on again soon for a more complete post
in the meantime, the job hunt sucks.
loveyas
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[25 Apr 2006|03:11pm] |
well peoples...tomorrow I get my ass on the bus and get the fuck outta here....had friends actually doing what they can to help me these past couple days....
insert mild surprise and gratefullness here
things will get dealt with on time, and I just have one more night there...bags packed (for the most part... will needa go and repack some things for space considerations)and the rest of my stuff is right now being DHL'd out to where I'm going.....
now the suck part is that I'll have 3 1/2 hours in Vegas and I don't know if I'll have the money to spare....
no, I'll have it, even if its just a couple dollars..... ~eg~
but in 24 hours I'll be heading back to where I probably shouldn't have left to begin with....
aaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, its doubtful if I'll be able to drop a line till I get out there....and it may be a few days before it happens....
muchluvs to everyone who's been there for me (even if its just a few words of encouragement) and I'll get in touch as soon as I can
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[31 Mar 2006|02:44pm] |
not a happy camper.
its bad nuff that I'm havin a bitch of a time trying to get my things in order to move, as well as making time to finish the cleanup (which is thankfully almost done)....
ok, I should fill people in on things first
well, as some of you know, I was livin with friends in CO since the end of August....they recently moved east (better job and all...a DO NOT PASS UP opportunity) and asked me to clean up the place before I leave...and make arrangements for cats....
well, the cats I MIGHT have a home for one, and arrangements for the care of the one they gave me, until I can take him....the rest I'll have to call the Humane Society for...(btw, the black boys have STILL not been picked up....I'll try to catch people at home to ask about it as soon as I can, otherwise I'll have to make other arrangements)
now back to where I was....
bad nuff I'm havin a bitch of a time gettin this done, on top of a job that's falling apart around my ears, a couple nights ago I go into my DVDs to grab a movie I wanted to watch...
not there.
I look through the cd binder they're all in.
nothing.
I tear apart my packed bage, totes, etc. looking for it.
I come up empty.
so, fuming over that, I go looking for another movie.
MIA.
which begs the question, WHAT THE FUCK???????????????
I have little enough as it is, so why swipe movies from me when its painfully obvious (as one kept reminding me consistantly) that the new job will be paying well enough to ensure a GREAT future for the three of them?
extremely not cool.
After I gave them:
a movie that managed to get lost within their things
a new CD that I loaned them to rip a copy of (that got packed into their things)
and a PS1 game that they wanted to complete a collection...
on top of that, several issues of a magazine that I found out BY ACCIDENT had been arriving (that I was about to call the mag publisher to ask about) that I never even got a look at....and on top of that, there's the matter of some money that I had to give in order to get a couple gouges in a wall fixed (that I didn't do, but got blamed for) that are still there, untouched...
I am grateful for everything they did for me.... but ya know, sometimes, gratefullness only goes so far
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[25 Mar 2006|12:45pm] |
yea, i know.... been way too long since i updated.......and today might not be any better.....
I've found a place to move to....not permanent, but it will buy me time to find something more permanent....
.....or to save enough to afford a trip back to CA and be able to live till I find work......
lots of not-good things happening, but no time right now to talk bout them all....
but i think i can squeeze in time to mention fair-weather friends....(no, R., D., this is not bout you....I'm more grateful for the help you have given me than you realize....)
no, this is about people who see you are down, mentally, physically, whatever.....and rather than ask why that is, or what can you do to try to get them out of that funk...instead tell people to...
..what was the quote? oh, yea...
"throw his bum ass out"
and of course, decicde the best thing to do is to not even speak to this person who is already at an emotional low....real nice way to show how much of a friend you are...
no, I won't mention if this person is on my friends list or not, and I won't remove people from this list...and personally, even though I'm not gonna close this off for comments, i'd prefer if these people would respond in email....
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[17 Jan 2006|03:17pm] |
hi peoples.... i know, long time no post....and no time to do it today either......
lessee... laptop took a shit on me... gettin it looked at to see if its salvagable......which is why i haven't been online much...ok, at all.....for a while....
i'll try to take time to post in more detail later this week....
but here's a question for peoples to ponder...
why do people go and flame someone but have the severe lack of balls to say who they are?
i'll explain in detail later....
muchluvs to everyone
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